It’s the first night after my wedding night and I can’t sleep. Not for the reason you were probably thinking. It’s just now that I can look back on the days leading to my wedding day and ponder on the things that have happened and those I wished happened. This is going to be a very personal blog post so I hope you bear with me and if you think I’m getting overboard, I wouldn’t mind if you stop reading. But I hope you will not be inclined to unsubscribe from my blog after reading this post.
Getting married is really a big decision to make, one that I did not take lightly. For somebody who is very independent like me, I do not give in to the pressure of getting married just because I have somebody willing to marry me and that I’m way beyond marrying age. If there’s anything I hate most it’s to be coerced into doing something. I do whatever I think is best for me and I will stand by my decision and face the consequences. It’s my life and I believe nobody knows better how to live it than me.
I have a lot of friends coordinating events but I took the difficult path. I decided to take charge of the preparations myself with help from friends. And I’m glad I did. It’s very stressful, and at times it will take away some of the excitement but the process will make you see the people who truly care for you. They are those who will swallow their pride, go out of their way, and sacrifice their time just to make you happy.
I think the reason why people get married only once is because the bride can only survive one wedding preparation. That’s why wedding coordination is very lucrative these days. Seriously, if you are the type of person who is not used to spending long nights and endure a lot of stress, I suggest you hire a professional.
I was glad I chose the perfect Maid of Honor. I don’t know how worse my wedding could have been without her. She kept me sane and put me on track whenever I lose focus. Her family became my instant family as well. I’m also very grateful to my friends who made themselves and their resources available at my request. I could never thank them enough.
I’m glad I was also able to break traditions. Traditions are not etched in stone and if they’re no longer applicable today, why observe? A lot of people were asking me why I will be getting married in Bacolod and not in Iloilo. And I know there were people who asked my Nanay why she agreed on it.
We have this custom that marriage should take place at the bride’s hometown. Initially, during the pamanhikan, we decided to have it in Iloilo but during my initial inquiries to suppliers, I realized it will be difficult for me so I decided to ask my boyfriend that we have it in Bacolod and he agreed. Here, suppliers are just a phone call away and some of them are not just suppliers but are also friends.
Eventually, it’s a decision that will make me see the people that truly love me. My parents did not even ask why. Wherever I decide to have it, they leave the decision to me. It’s my wedding, it’s my call. After that, other voices are just noise I refused to listen to.
I don’t know why some of us have this habit that when we learn that a person is getting married instead of saying congratulations and best wishes, say “Baw wala gid gapang-imbitar ba.” I don’t know if this is socially accepted but I think anybody who has a sense of propriety should not say this even jokingly. You’ll only embarrass the person getting married.
Another one is, “Gin imbitar mo tani si so-and-so maski pakulahaw lang.” Is there a sense in that? Why invite people and expect them not to come? I only invited through invitations, text and in person, those I wanted and expect to come. There are more people I wanted to invite if only our budget permits.
It’s now that I truly understand it when they say, “Kadto lang maski wala regalo.” because that’s exactly how I felt. I can always buy material things but a person’s presence on your special day is something no money can buy. But of course I also understand why some people were not able to make it and I’ve taken a mental note of those who moved mountains just to be there.
When you have so much on your mind you tend to forget about the little details until the last minute. I don’t know if there’s a bride who was more stressed than I was. The day before the wedding was when I realized we still had no wedding candles, no gifts for the offertory, and our officiating priest asked to meet us.
The night before our wedding I was still printing and cutting out cards for our grafted fruit trees giveaways and finalizing our missalette. I slept at 10pm and woke up at 1am to do all these. It was only after the wedding that I properly slept.
It doesn’t end there. On the day of our wedding, the groom had diarrhea and fever. He said it was something he ate. Could it be he’s changed his mind? Nah, if there’s somebody who’s at the end of her wits, that’s me, so if there’s some changing of minds that should be me.
I don’t know why I haven’t pre-arranged it with the car rental but I went with the car who picked up my make-up artists and bride’s maids from the pier to their hotel. I was the one who picked up the bouquets from the florist. I was the one who picked up the groom who’s now feeling better from the house and we went together to Nature’s Village where we will be billeted and where our reception will be held.
To add to the series of unfortunate events, there was some mixed up with the van schedule and my make-up artists and bride’s maids arrived late at the resort. Our videographers were at the resort two hours before us. I think they were more stressed than I was. By God’s grace I was in a good mood. I was relaxed and waited patiently to be made up. I was smiling genuinely in front of the camera.
We ended up coming one hour late for my 4pm wedding at Virgen Sang Barangay Chapel. When we met Father Rayman Asoy the day before, he told us “It’s ok if you’re going to be a little late. It’s you’re special day and I don’t want you to be pressured.” Perhaps, he did not expect us to take his word seriously. But I’m glad it’s him we choose as our officiating priest. Other priests might have given us a tongue lashing at our own wedding. I don’t know where he is having a mass at 6pm but I hope it’s not another wedding or that would really make me feel guilty. My Maid of Honor told me after the wedding that there were also bloopers at the Chapel. Well, I’m sure we will be laughing about it later.
Leo Vision was a personal choice to be our videographer. It’s not only because Gary Liza gave me a good package but because I trust Leo Vision to do a good job. And I was not wrong. They did an excellent job! I don’t know how they did it. We were probably their worst client. We are a videographer’s nightmare. We suck at projecting, we’re not the demonstrative type, and we were late!
They only had limited shots because we’re running after time but I think that’s what made the video so beautiful. They had captured us naturally on video. No pretensions. Just us, in our unguarded moments. As what I told Gary, they have perfectly captured the imperfect us and we wouldn’t want it any other way. He or whoever from his staff was very intuitive in choosing the perfect music. I only heard it at our wedding reception when they showed us the Same Day Edit video of our wedding. It’s the male version of A Thousand Years from Twilight: Breaking Dawn OST. No, I’m not a Twilight fan at all.
We chose Virgen Sang Barangay Chapel for our wedding because as somebody who continually blog about Negros, I know part of its history and the story behind its shell mural. I find it not only beautiful but full of character. It’s quiet, very intimate and no unwelcome observers.
Nature’s Village Resort was the best choice for the reception because it’s near the chapel and traffic is not so heavy going North from the flyover. I also find it charming and has a character that matches with the chapel. We missed having a lot of pictures and videos in these two venues but perhaps we can do that on our first anniversary.
Before I end this longer than usual blog post, I’m happy to share with you our wedding video.
